Yes, hello. I’d like to apply for a job. Do you have any openings?

I was thinking something like “form filler.” 

No, not “data entry” per se. I’m thinking more along the lines of… well, I’m not sure. Can I start with my skills and abilities?

Great, thank you. I’m really good at math, science, social studies, and language arts.

Be more specific? OK, so I’m really good at reading a predetermined question and then choosing from four predetermined choices in each of the areas I just mentioned to you. Also, every once in a while, I can read a prompt and write a two-page response. 

What do you mean “what if the questions are a mix of subjects?” 

Sir, I assure you that I am quite skilled… No, sir, I have extensive training in these areas! In fact, I’ve devoted the last decade of my life to perfecting how to do this skill!

What do you mean it’s “not relevant”?